Embracing Discomfort in Labor as a Life Lesson
In a world that seeks to numb discomfort, how can we learn to embrace it? Between all the trigger warnings, censorships, and the self-medicating tools that are available, we rarely see the tools that help us embrace discomfort.
There are many things in life where we experience discomfort and many times, I would even dare to say, all of those times we can stand to grow from it. I would go further and say that we NEED discomfort to grow. No one likes it of course not, it is our human urge to turn the censors off, but what are we missing when we turn them off? What opportunities can present themselves in certain levels of discomfort when we allow it to come and when we allow ourselves to sit with it for just a little bit. We just moved from CA to TN 2 months ago, and let me tell you about discomfort! We have been living in the state of discomfort for the last 6 months, between planning this move, the packing, the spending moving money, all while raising two small children, and attempting to keep their lives in some sort of homeostatic place. Leaving our HOME was uncomfortable as hell. And then we get to the other side of it…landed and moved into a home we never walked inside of in a city we had never visited until that night at 8pm after a long day of traveling we were “home”, except it wasn’t. OK OK let’s talk labor and birth.
What do you know about birth? What’s one thing if someone was said “hey hey YOU! What’s one thing you know for SURE about birth?”, what would your answer be? “That it’s painful….” Even if you’d never experienced birth before, you’d have that answer. Why? Because it’s been perpetuated allll throughout history, it’s been passed down from all your aunties, cousins, moms, friends, TV shows, and movies. But what’s another very normal things about that piece of birth? That there’s an epidural…There’s pain management that you don’t have to feel a thing! And suddenly, you feel better already, because the impending discomfort has now been remediated by pain killers. But now I’m going to tell you something that some might be offended by…but I’m going to share it anyway. You need to FEEL the intensity of labor in order for labor to perform in the most physiological way. Your hormones are depending on you to allow them to do their eloquent dance in your blood stream to make sure that things unfold in a way that is optimal for you and your baby. Labor pain is purposeful.
But what if you don’t have a high pain tolerance? I hear this question often. Labor pain has nothing to do with pain tolerance, but has everything to do with pain perception.
Feeling the discomfort and intensity and pain in labor helps your labor progress. It helps your body turn inward instead of outward. It forces you to be in tune with yourself and your intuition. It tells you how to move and where to move, and how to push and when to push. It is a means of protection.
What if instead of “I can’t do this there’s no way.”, you said “I got this” and hyped yourself harder than anyone else could ever, because at the end of the day, no you don’t get a medal for going “unmedicated” and no there’s no trophy anyone presents you with, but you’re a woman, who grew a whole human, listened to her body, and pushed that human out with all your innate and human strength feeling every inch of discomfort and moving through it like the force you truly are, and THAT is the real victory. Not the approval or accolades of anyone else, but that you took that discomfort, and made it your ally.
What will you do with discomfort in life and in labor?
Xo,
Gi