How Moving Is Like Birth Pt. 1
In October 2021, there was something being served on my dinner table that evening and it wasn’t food. It was away coming conversation. It made my stomach hurt. I lost my appetite if I’m being 100% honest. My husband started hinting at being “over” California. Actually he’d always had a desire to live elsewhere and I knew it, but I always thought we could keep prolonging this inevitable cascade of emotion, but when his twin brother moved, it shook things up. It shook things up onto my dining room table and I was not happy with what was being served. “I’m done,” he says… “I’m ready for the next step”. And here I was being faced with two things to say next. I could either bring up how good his career is here, how we are in a rhythm, or even how we can revisit this chat next year. OR, I could validate him. Instead, I chose a third option…the third option was me admitting that I was also ready for the next step, but I was also terrified a massive amount of leaving my home state, despite how much benefit I saw in it.
Conversations swirled around like this 3 years prior, but we always had an excuse to stay. Aside from the beach access, Disneyland (yes our family’s favorite past time), and other amenities, we had longed for a slower pace life, more land, and ya know the things that CA may not offer like a BETTER COST OF LIVING! So I guess this was 3 years in the making. So I met him where he was and said, “ Me too, but I’m terrified.”
The next few months began with strategy. We had decided he would take a travel contract in LA that would triple his weekly pay. [Full transparency here I don’t shy away from any topic and money is one of them.] We maintained and prayed for this plan and within 2 months he was well on his way to a travel contract with a well known hospital in LA. Step one was accomplished. We had then had a goal in mind to save up thousands of dollars and we did exactly that on a weekly basis. One of my caveats was that we visited the state of TN (we had considered this state for 1 year prior to the chats of moving and it was one we had previously settled on). So back to TN we went to visit, I needed a full scope of what the weather variances were because your girl over here doesn’t do cold. NOPE. “Oh but snow is pretty” you say, sure it is to look at on a TV screen or outside a window and when it’s melted the next day. Checked all the seasons here we were that following Summer searching for cities we liked.
I needed to see a few things in this state for me to feel comfortable moving my family to the South:
I wanted diversity like a melting pot of people that were all different cultures
I needed access to certain things like a normal grocery
Shopping with farmers
A solid birth community or some sort of awareness of midwifery and doula care
I got 3 out of 4 - so I conceded that I can find more when I get there or create the 4th.
Eleven cities and 9 houses we explored in 2 short weeks…
Everything from the chats 3 years ago about moving the family to another state, to the conversation at the dinner table in CA, to the Summer trip that would change our trajectory…It was early labor. Our lives were gearing up for birth, the birth of a new home, place, and adventure. Stay tuned for part 2!